Monday Bitch: Daniel Snyder

Brad Johnson, Jeff George, Tony Banks, Shane Mathews, Patrick Ramsey, Danny Wuerfell, LegendTim Hasselbeck, Mark Brunell, Jason Campbell, Tod Collins, Donovan McNabb, Rex Grossman, John Beck, Robert Griffin III, Colt McCoy, Kirk Cousins… What does everyone on this needlessly long list of names have in common?  They have started at the Quarterback position under the ownership of this knucklehead.  While it’s no Cleveland Browns situation, the list shows the complete instability of the third highest revenue generating NFL franchise.  The Redskins are one of the great NFL franchises but have been 125-162-1 and been to the playoffs only 5 times with 2 playoffs wins in the last 18 years.

So, what is the issue?  First, this micromanaging psychopath can’t let anyone do their jobs.  Ex-general managers and coaches alike have reported in confidence that the relinquishing of the reigns in public is completely for show.  This even extends to winning coaches that ignore his “advice”.  This action generally leads to break downs in communication and a hostile relationship. Washington Post Writer Sally Jenkins reports that Snyder often uses the tactic of suggesting a free agent to play the expensive live version of fantasy football he inflicts on the Washington faithful.  If a coach doesn’t submit to this grown-up adaptation of bullying they’re often forced out soon after.  Wait did Tuck Sauce just quote a source?  F*** yea I did!  Actual journalism going on at SBDS!  Anyone I digress from my tirade targeted at the bane of my existence.  Like bro, if Albert Haynesworth was completely my damn idea, I might take a break from berating my GMs.

Let’s talk about the final piece of this calamity; the fan experience.  You would think that the Redskins would be able to provide a decent fan experience since they can’t put a product onto the field.  But they don’t.  I haven’t been to every stadium in the NFL circuit but the games I’ve seen at Heinz Field, Bank of America, M&T Bank, and Lambeau are infinitely better than what I’ve had to experience at FedEx.  Now look, if you spend the money and get a club seat or a box seat it is a great experience inside.  However, FedEx is on the end of a metro line and that stop is a mile away from the stadium.  Additionally, if FedEx Fieldyou decide to drive; traffic is an absolute shambles.  Oh, and once you’re there, this douche nugget charges in certain areas for people to tailgate to drive them under the Bud light tent so you have the privilege of purchasing $14 dollar pints.  And don’t get me started on the cave.  Here’s a picture of an actual seat in FedEx from the cave that I took.  My seats were only 3 over from this disgrace.  Like da fuq?

Daniel Snyder is a typical example of a billionaire that treats his investment better than a drunken Bostonian treats his red headed step child.  Both passive aggressively criticizing and damaging self confidence in any way possible, and then cashing the kid’s paycheck he got from bagging groceries so he can buy another 40 of OE or whatever the hell they drink north of the Mason Dixon Line.  Was that a run-on sentence?  Damn I guess the illusion of actual semi-journalism is completely shattered.  But that’s how angry this dude makes me.

PS. Can you just sign Kirk Cousins to a long-term deal so we don’t have to start Brian Kirk CousinsHoyer in 2018? K, thanks!

Look, at the end of the day the dude has some massive cash and is making a lot of money, so you’d figure he’s not a complete and total idiot.  And it is technically his team.  However, braj if we stop buying jerseys and going to games because we get treated like a rock you’re trying to squeeze blood out of, that money is going dry up.  Damn, who am I kidding… is it football season yet?