Burying Hambino

I am only writing this article because Hambino bitched and moaned about me burying his mock draft post with something entertaining.  And because of that I decided to bury it with another article.  So, suck it.

While we’re at it Hambino continually calls me a glory hunter and how much better my life is as a sports fan is than his.  But let’s face it.  I would rather win championships than be a better team most years.  Who the hell cares if the last five years the Redskins have been better than the Buccaneers.  I can’t remember a Redskins Super Bowl yet he can remember a Bucs.  We’ve agreed on this point many times but for some reason he continually ignores it because the fact doesn’t validate his argument.  Typical Hambino with his alternative facts.  Let’s lay it out on the line here.  He may not be a die-hard just how I am not for some of these teams but here it is on the line.

He’s a Swansea fan, which granted sucks.  Being a Chelsea fan is fantastic compared to that joke of a club.  We’ve already covered the football route so he wins there.  Baseball he’s at least got to see the Rays go to a series while my Orioles can’t seem to make it past the ALDS.  Same argument holds up in Basketball.  The Wizards are finally good enough to run right into Lebron James at the height of his game while he’s seen his Magic get to a final.  Oh, and don’t get me started on my ever-disappointing heartbreak that is the Washington Capitals.

In summation, Hambino stop your bitching about how I am such a glory hunter.  I would rather watch anxiety free a terrible team with no chance punctuated by Championships than this continual mediocrity and heartbreak that is my sporting life.  At least we can both agree on the Noles and USMNT.  


Euro’s and Trumpies, The American Fan’s Pickle.

Well it’s time to dust off the ole cobwebs and see about kicking this blog back into reality.  It really is amazing what happens when you get out of the golf operation side of things.  This “free time” the rest of the world speaks about is not too bad.  Also, it’s nice not looking at weekend with a disdain hatred because of all the fun the rest of your Facebook newsfeed is having.  People coming home from their wild Friday night as you’re waking up to go get your head ripped off by 60-65 year olds that are pissed that they played in 4:27 instead of 4:25 wears down a man.  Anyways…enough about that and let’s chat sports.  Today’s topic is addressing the insecurities of Europe and Trumpies.


Sorry in advance Tucker as we’re going to offend some people…..


A little back-story on how this whole topic came about, I woke up this morning to being tagged in a post from Colin McKellar (Chelsea scum) where a group of 7-10 Atlanta United supporters were doing their best to rally the other 10-15 supporters there.  Truly did look pathetic.  See below….But then I did a little research into the video and saw that this was merely a pre-season game.  Like c’mon man?  Really? Europeans going to come rip American soccer fans, ATL United, for a pathetic looking video making fun of American fans doing what they deem as “not worthy chants” at a preseason game for an expansion team?  How many Crystal Palace fans would travel to Norway for a pre-season game?  I’ll put the O/U on 50.  You would never hear about that though.


So here is the basis of the article, assuming the American readers all are still with me and haven’t given up on a soccer story, which is the pickle that true American soccer/football/futbol fans are in with Euro snobs and Trumpies as I call them.  One cannot just be an American soccer fan and post openly about it without a rash of response from people.  I actually find it funny when a European and, well since y’all Brexit-ed I should address the UK separately, come at me for soccer knowledge.  Like bruh you realize I get access to EVERY.  SINGLE. GAME. On live television.  Every single premier league game, every single champions league game, most relevant La Liga, Bundesliga, Seria A and Ligue 1 games.  I will go out on a limb and bet with anyone who doesn’t illegally stream games that the die-hard American fan of the game will watch more games than any fan in the UK.  Enjoy the United/Bournemouth game today because you’re about to get blacked out for all the 10 AM games.  Oh, America you didn’t know?   Yeah, in the UK you don’t get access to all of the games.  Imagine watching the College Gameday crew sit around and watch the college games that you can’t watch and react on live Television.  That is what they watch.    No highlights, no live game, nothing.  Shocking really for a country that lives, eats, breaths, fights, kills for soccer/football.  So why is it that you all can have superiority of American fans?  Not sure actually the more I think about it.  To be honest I am not sure why there is such an insecurity towards us anyway?  It will never be the number 1 sport here so it’s not like we’re going to take over the world with it, unlike our political policies.  At the end of the day the true fans who dedicate time and effort to keep up with the European games/leagues just want to be able to sit at the table and have a conversation about it that we don’t normally get to have with other Americans who DGAF.  Don’t worry we know the elephant in the room is the fact that we call it soccer and you call it football.  Unfortunately, that just won’t change so just deal with it.

Now that I have ripped the Euro’s, it’s your turn America.   What is it with you Trumpies and complaining so damn much about soccer fans?  Like what are YOU so insecure about?  It will never pass NFL, College Football, or the NBA so who cares?  Subtle shots fired at MLB and NHL fans.  Oops.  Anyways, you treat soccer fans like we’re Putin, or I guess Trump likes Putin which means you like Putin, so more like Kim Jung-Un?  Anything progressive in this country is not okay apparently.  Which is not shocking.  I’ll ask you this, what else are you watching from 7-11 AM on a Saturday/Sunday?  Your 12th re-run or SportsCenter?  Some would actually enjoy the idea of cracking open a cold one and watching your squad at 8 AM.  It would make sense if it was keeping you from watching Lakers v Celtics or Alabama v Auburn, but no, instead it’s keeping you from watching some cooking infomercial.  On Tuesdays and Wednesday when Champions League is on and I ask for the bartender to put it on at 2:45 instead of watching the 3rd re-run of first take I could do without the random comment from the end of the bar.  I don’t care that YOU don’t like soccer.  I care that you care that I do like soccer.  If you like Zaxbys more than Chick-Fil-A who cares if I saw you’re wrong? If you like it more than Chick-Fil-A go  then keep eating that Zaxby’s.  Make YOU happy.  As Corinne would say from The Bachelor, “You do you.” If you stop liking Zaxby’s then you’re a sheep.   Little heads up, we’re not going to stop posting, writing, watching, soccer just because you say you don’t like it.  I remember when Women’s Rights and Civil Rights were thought of as annoying, pointless and a waste of time. We’re not here to tell you to watch it like the bible thumpers do.  We’re just here to tell you to piss off when you tell us watching a sport we enjoy is stupid.


I’ll be at the Orlando City home opener this weekend, assuming there isn’t some riot by the american people to stop the game.

Game Blouses.

January Transfer Guide: Chelsea

chelsea                Chelsea has been a mystery this year.  When set up defensively, the Blues look unable to go out and score goals.  However, when Mourinho’s 4-3-3 is implemented, the Stamford side seems incapable of defending.  In fact in the last 4 games against bottom half opponents, Chelsea has allowed 8 goals, and that includes a shutout against West Ham.  The absence of Oscar in the middle of the pitch seems to have damaged the Blues defensive mindset.  However, the Blues have scored 14 goals in the last five despite only scoring 16 goals in the first 10.  Certainly the level of the opponent has something to do with the Chelsea scoring frenzy, but that doesn’t negate the need for some change in London.

No Chelsea fans Wayne Rooney will not supply that change.  The injury to Robin Van Persie has maderooney Rooney’s importance to Moyes much more noticeable.  In fact, Rooney seems to be one of the few Manchester United players not for sale this January and certainly not to Chelsea.

pogba                Pogba is a name that should be on the lips of every Blues fan.  The former Manchester United player is currently the lynch pin for Juventus.  His ability not only to defend, but to link the midfield to attacking players is something the Blues desire in Mourinho’s 4-3-3.  The only issue is the Guinean turned Frenchman just inked a new long team with the Italian giants.  Xabi Alonso would be another good fit in the middle of the park for Chelsea.  His upside is similar to Pogba’s but the Real Madrid man posses a lot more experience than his younger counterpart.  His biggest upside though is that there are rumors the Spaniard is no longer happy at the Bernabeau and is looking for a larger contract.  Something that Roman may be happy to supply.

Despite Falcao recently moving to Monaco, he seems to be looking for a way out.  The French League side falcaohas been linked with a move for Argentine Angel di Maria, which could convince the Columbian striker to stay.  However, he has expressed interest in playing for Mourinho at Chelsea.  His addition to the squad could help the West London side score goals consistently in the final third.  While Eto’o and Torres have both contributed to the cause, the need for someone to put consistent pressure on opponents back lines still exists.

Mourinho also made an interesting comment about the Champions League Round of 16 draw.  The Portuguese boss said he drogbahoped for a draw against Turkish Champions Galatasaray.  He wants former Blues striker, Drogba, to see how much he is still appreciated in London.  If you’ve ever seen a Mourinho press conference you know he doesn’t say anything without a purpose.  Could the Special One be calling the Stamford King back home?  Possibly, but it would take a healthy sum to pull Drogba away from the Turkish giants.

There are some players that seem poised to leave Chelsea in search of more playing time.  Depth in a squad is great, but when fringe players are trying to impress national coaches in a World Cup year, playing time is important.mata  Kevin De Bruyne is most likely is on his way out on another loan spell, possibly to Wolfsburg.  Demba Ba also doesn’t seem content with his third place on the depth chart, even with the recent Champions League time.  David Luiz, who can’t buy a game, seems to be on Barcelona’s wish list as they search for someone to fill Carlos Puyol’s shoes.  Finally, 2-time defending Chelsea Player of the Year Juan Mata has never had Mourinho’s favor.  The Spaniard has been linked with moves to Arsenal, Liverpool or United, however a move outside the country would be more likely.  Paris St. Germain has certainly expressed an interest, and Mata would receive valuable 1st team time for the French Giants.

January could prove to be a busy time at Stamford Bridge.  Chelsea most certainly has the money to make some moves this winter.  Mourinho won’t spend just to spend though.  Chelsea have one of the deepest squads in Europe and lack a need for a complete overhaul.  However, Chelsea do have needs.  A big signing for a midfielder who isn’t a small quick technical magician would help Chelsea immensely.  Additionally, Chelsea are still looking for the number 9 that will lead them to glory and a big signing of sentimental favorite or a terrifying Colombian would certainly do the trick.