Euro’s and Trumpies, The American Fan’s Pickle.

Well it’s time to dust off the ole cobwebs and see about kicking this blog back into reality.  It really is amazing what happens when you get out of the golf operation side of things.  This “free time” the rest of the world speaks about is not too bad.  Also, it’s nice not looking at weekend with a disdain hatred because of all the fun the rest of your Facebook newsfeed is having.  People coming home from their wild Friday night as you’re waking up to go get your head ripped off by 60-65 year olds that are pissed that they played in 4:27 instead of 4:25 wears down a man.  Anyways…enough about that and let’s chat sports.  Today’s topic is addressing the insecurities of Europe and Trumpies.


Sorry in advance Tucker as we’re going to offend some people…..


A little back-story on how this whole topic came about, I woke up this morning to being tagged in a post from Colin McKellar (Chelsea scum) where a group of 7-10 Atlanta United supporters were doing their best to rally the other 10-15 supporters there.  Truly did look pathetic.  See below….But then I did a little research into the video and saw that this was merely a pre-season game.  Like c’mon man?  Really? Europeans going to come rip American soccer fans, ATL United, for a pathetic looking video making fun of American fans doing what they deem as “not worthy chants” at a preseason game for an expansion team?  How many Crystal Palace fans would travel to Norway for a pre-season game?  I’ll put the O/U on 50.  You would never hear about that though.


So here is the basis of the article, assuming the American readers all are still with me and haven’t given up on a soccer story, which is the pickle that true American soccer/football/futbol fans are in with Euro snobs and Trumpies as I call them.  One cannot just be an American soccer fan and post openly about it without a rash of response from people.  I actually find it funny when a European and, well since y’all Brexit-ed I should address the UK separately, come at me for soccer knowledge.  Like bruh you realize I get access to EVERY.  SINGLE. GAME. On live television.  Every single premier league game, every single champions league game, most relevant La Liga, Bundesliga, Seria A and Ligue 1 games.  I will go out on a limb and bet with anyone who doesn’t illegally stream games that the die-hard American fan of the game will watch more games than any fan in the UK.  Enjoy the United/Bournemouth game today because you’re about to get blacked out for all the 10 AM games.  Oh, America you didn’t know?   Yeah, in the UK you don’t get access to all of the games.  Imagine watching the College Gameday crew sit around and watch the college games that you can’t watch and react on live Television.  That is what they watch.    No highlights, no live game, nothing.  Shocking really for a country that lives, eats, breaths, fights, kills for soccer/football.  So why is it that you all can have superiority of American fans?  Not sure actually the more I think about it.  To be honest I am not sure why there is such an insecurity towards us anyway?  It will never be the number 1 sport here so it’s not like we’re going to take over the world with it, unlike our political policies.  At the end of the day the true fans who dedicate time and effort to keep up with the European games/leagues just want to be able to sit at the table and have a conversation about it that we don’t normally get to have with other Americans who DGAF.  Don’t worry we know the elephant in the room is the fact that we call it soccer and you call it football.  Unfortunately, that just won’t change so just deal with it.

Now that I have ripped the Euro’s, it’s your turn America.   What is it with you Trumpies and complaining so damn much about soccer fans?  Like what are YOU so insecure about?  It will never pass NFL, College Football, or the NBA so who cares?  Subtle shots fired at MLB and NHL fans.  Oops.  Anyways, you treat soccer fans like we’re Putin, or I guess Trump likes Putin which means you like Putin, so more like Kim Jung-Un?  Anything progressive in this country is not okay apparently.  Which is not shocking.  I’ll ask you this, what else are you watching from 7-11 AM on a Saturday/Sunday?  Your 12th re-run or SportsCenter?  Some would actually enjoy the idea of cracking open a cold one and watching your squad at 8 AM.  It would make sense if it was keeping you from watching Lakers v Celtics or Alabama v Auburn, but no, instead it’s keeping you from watching some cooking infomercial.  On Tuesdays and Wednesday when Champions League is on and I ask for the bartender to put it on at 2:45 instead of watching the 3rd re-run of first take I could do without the random comment from the end of the bar.  I don’t care that YOU don’t like soccer.  I care that you care that I do like soccer.  If you like Zaxbys more than Chick-Fil-A who cares if I saw you’re wrong? If you like it more than Chick-Fil-A go  then keep eating that Zaxby’s.  Make YOU happy.  As Corinne would say from The Bachelor, “You do you.” If you stop liking Zaxby’s then you’re a sheep.   Little heads up, we’re not going to stop posting, writing, watching, soccer just because you say you don’t like it.  I remember when Women’s Rights and Civil Rights were thought of as annoying, pointless and a waste of time. We’re not here to tell you to watch it like the bible thumpers do.  We’re just here to tell you to piss off when you tell us watching a sport we enjoy is stupid.


I’ll be at the Orlando City home opener this weekend, assuming there isn’t some riot by the american people to stop the game.

Game Blouses.


Is it Football Season Yet?

Well Ladies and Gentlemen we’ve entered it.  That black hole of sports between the time that football ends and when football begins.  I know I’m not alone here.  Tons of people are so bored with their lives they completely forget the college football performances the year before and choose to vest all of their interests on watching what can really only be described as the Olympics Lite.  I lost all respect for this process when a wide receiver couldn’t catch a ball but because he was the reincarnate of the Flash, Darrius Heyward-Bay, first of his name, king of the butterfingers, lord of the terrapins, and the khaleesi of the grass sea went 7th overall.  I would like to say there is hope but there’s not.

dukesucks1Let’s start with the closest upcoming event.  March Madness.  As a Florida State fan, I’m really excited to see us maybe get to the Sweet Sixteen, so I can get my hopes way up only to see them dashed like a baby bird on a sidewalk.  The best part of March Madness for me is seeing Duke and Kentucky fans having this same devastation on their title hopes.  But here’s the problem Happy.  You aren’t any good.  Or at least not good enough for them to experience the same pain that’ll I’ll suffer.

Sticking with basketball… Cavaliers vs Warriors.  Even with Kevin Durant hurt, can we just please hit the fast forward button to get there please?

Oh wait I forgot Spring Training is here!   To me the best part of Spring Training is having an excuse to sit outside in Arizona and Florida the only time of the year it is actually bearable to be outside in those nursing homes that call themselves states.  For the rest of us who are stuck fighting the bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings asking her to please put on the Champions League matches but she can’t because some Braves fan is on his 3rd lip and 4th Michelob ultra is enjoying the only time this year his team isn’t 6 -252, it sucks.  Run on sentence?  Moving on!

“Great now Tuck Sauce is going talk about how soccer is the only exciting thing going on.”


                                          Steven Glansberg eating dessert by himself

Well f*** off imaginary voice invented by me to get the point of this article across.  The title race is over.  Chelsea have won it not because they’re incredible; it’s just the rest of the top 6 are garbage.  Liverpool have won twice in twelve matches, Mourinho is too far back, Arsenal will end up fourth and Tottenham… Well that joke is just too easy.  And continental soccer is even worse; unless you like French football which let’s face it, not even the French like.  So unless I want to watch Swansea and Middleborough battle for 16th, I’m stuck watching Champions League highlights on YouTube while taking my afternoon BM like I’m Steven Glansberg. (9-5 is so much fun).

But wait there is hope.  Yes, that bastion that keeps me sane through the roller coaster of Virginia winters.  That gentle music with Jim Nantz’s voice emanating through.  Yes, the only event on tour that even Tiger’s absence and Johnny Miller’s presence can’t ruin.  The Masters.  Chances are I’ll probably get the *flu* on Thursday and won’t move except to drink and ummm process Bud Lights until Sunday evening.  I know some of you are saying “Gold Jacket, Green Jacket who gives a shit,” but again imaginary dick head f*** off.  CMON JORDAN!


Luis Suarez: Player of the Year 2014

“I learned to recognise the thorough and primitive duality of man; I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both,” Robert Louis Stevenson, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Luis SuarezI’ve never read something that truly embodies a soccer player more than this one does Liverpool striker Luis Suarez. The Uruguayan has built his mental home somewhere between these two natures, and in the past has struggled as he bounced between polarities. His magnificence on the pitch leaves fans and players alike stunned and breathless. He sees the game in a way that only a Cruyff could. Yet he leaves us all confused with his antics. He has bit 2 players in his career on the pitch, leaving even his biggest supporters without a leg to defend him on. All except Brendan Rodgers who has fought for Suarez like a father, both in the media and in the board room. How does Suarez reward the Northern Irishmen and the Anfield faithful? With absolute brilliance.

Suarez is the leading goal scorer in the Premier League this season, despite a Suarezsubstantial suspension to begin the season. He has outscored 7 of the 20 teams that make up England’s top flight. Even more impressively he has more domestic goals then any other player in the top 5 leagues in Europe. He has already hit the 20 goal mark for the season and looks to be a shoe in for the Golden Boot in a League not know for huge goal scoring years.

The Little Uruguayan has always been a genius goal scorer but what has prompted this incredible explosion of goals? Brendan Rodgers deserves a lot of credit. To an outsider for years it seemed that Suarez felt he wasn’t loved at home. Like all neglected children, Suarez lashed out for attention on both the media and Ivanovic’s shoulder. He felt like he was being held back at Liverpool because he thought he deserved to play in the Champions League. Yet somehow Brendan Rodgers was able to sooth the tormented genius, and Suarez has responded well. He now feels comfortable enough to sign a deal that either keeps him at Anfield until a Bale like bid comes in for his services.

This is not to say that Suarez has lost his anger. The opposite is true. AngrySuarez Bites geniuses thrive at the medium where their anger and creativity collide. Much like a Sith Lord, Suarez has found a way to channel his anger into a powerful force. It is a dangerous line though. One more incident like the one that happened last year could mean the end of Suarez’s large stage career. The English FA would have no issue banning the repeat offender if he loses the control. While Suarez could still find work, many clubs would be unwilling to pay him the amount of money he may deserve because of his internal Dr. Jekyll.

It has been a long time since someone realistically challenged Ronaldo and Messi as the top player in the world. Ronaldo’s speed and athletic ability make him a handful for any defender, while Messi’s technical ability and goal scoring has won him the last 4 Ballon D’hors. Suarez is a different animal though. In a world of clubs seeking a pure number 9, Suarez floats the bill. His pace, elusiveness, goal scoring ability and touch him make him one of the most complete footballers in the world and my favorite for 2014’s Player of the Year.

Island of Misfit Players

The money that circulates around soccer’s top clubs makes the game highly competitive.  So much so that these teams sometimes bring in stars for which they have no room.  In many ways the top clubs have started to treat the transfer market like fantasy football, picking up star players for their names without thinking about what kind of consequence they may have on the system.  These transfers destroy players careers and clubs, all while pissing off Hambino.  Yes some of these moves are forgivable since some teams are looking for depth to get them through a long domestic and European campaign. Plus I don’t think Chelsea cares what Hambino, a lowly Swansea fan, thinks.   However, I reckon you could create a title contending team out of these club misfits, even though they struggle to find time at their clubs.  These are my best 11 that struggle to get off the bench.

Iker Casillas (Real Madrid/Spain) – Keeper

casillasThe Spanish goal keeper used to be a staple for both club and country.  That is until Portuguese boss, Jose Mourinho, did the unthinkable.  He benched his captain.  Mourinho’s fall out with his star keeper wasn’t an isolated incidence, and was one of the reasons Jose left the Bernabeu.  However, since Mourinho’s departure, Casillas has struggled to regain his starting position at Los Blancos.  His age may have something to do with Ancelloti’s reluctance to start the Spaniard.  Time may prove me wrong, and Iker could regain a consistent starting roll but until then he’s my keeper.

Thomas Vermaelen (Arsenal/Belguim) – Center Back

Only two players in and my team has two club captains.  Vermaelen started the season out of the starting lineup as he vermaelenbattled with injury.  In his absence the defensive pair of Per Mertesacker and Laurent Koscienly has led the Gunners to a start that sees them on top of the table.  Wenger also seems to favor fellow Frenchman Monreal over his captain.  While Vermaelen seems to be healthy, he has struggled to find time at the Emirates.  However, Vermaelen seems content to battle it out for his spot at the North London club and has yet to ask for a transfer.

David Luiz (Chelsea/Brazil) – Center Back

Luiz is an interesting character.  If you watch his highlight film it is amazing to think he would struggle to get time at any club.  His free kicks and technical ability on the ball makes Luiz a threat anywhere on the pitch.  However, he has struggled to get time in Chelsea blue behind the more dependable pairing of Cahill and Terry.  The Benitez experiment of playing him as a holding midfielder also seems to have been abandoned by Mourinho.  This has prompted transfer rumors from two of the world’s biggest names, Bayern Munich and Barcelona.  While I can see it’s possible for Luiz to trade in Stamford Bridge for Camp Nou, something more concrete will have to come up before I start believing it.  If all goes wrong he can always audition for a live action portrayal of Side Show Bob.


Jolean Lescott (Manchester City/England) – Center Back

lescottIt wasn’t long ago that Lescot was a member of a formidable back line at the Etihad.  In fact the efforts of himself and Vincent Kompany were a huge part of their title run two years ago.  As the World Cup approaches Jolean must be dying to get into City’s starting 11 in order to prove that he still has it.  However, Lescott is 31 and his international days maybe completely over.  It is interesting to see if he does make his way into Pellegrini’s side but with the talent at the Etihad it seems unlikely.

Isco (Real Madrid/Spain) – Midfield

Isco is one of the most sought after young players in the world and his future looks bright.  Los Blancos were blown Iscoaway by his display in the Under-21’s World Cup and the Spaniard could be essential to an aging Spanish side.  However, Isco has three big problems, Ronaldo, Di Maria, and Bale.  The Bernabeu is home to three of the greatest wingers on the planet and Isco has struggled to get time amongst them.  In a young players developmental stage this can be terribly damaging.  My hope is that Isco finds a way to play even if it is with another crest on his chest.

Shinji Kagawa (Manchester United/Japan) – Midfield

free kagawaKagawa may be the most talented player that Japan has ever created.  His vision, pace and technical ability made him a super star at the Bundesliga side Dortmund.  However, his trip to Manchester hasn’t gone as planned.  Despite United’s lack of creativity in the middle of the pitch, Kagawa has rarely found himself in the starting 11.  While he has occasionally been seen as a substitute, his usual spot in Moyes’s plans is on the bench.  This has prompted a “Free Kagawa” campaign from supporters of his former club.  I would not be surprised to see the Japanese international in Dortmund Yellow again soon, especially if Marco Reus comes to the Premier League.

Juan Mata (Chelsea/Spain) – Midfield

Mata has clawed his way up through the ranks to finally get a spot on the best international team in the world.  In thatmata time he became Chelsea’s two time player of the year, and seemed to be crucial piece to Roman’s plan at Stamford Bridge.  Unfortunately for the Spainard, Mourinho does not seem him in the same capacity.  Mata’s lack of defensive prowess has left him out his accustomed spot.  However, when Mata comes on he seems to provide a spark to an occasionally stagnant Chelsea side.  There are rumors that Mata may be on his way to join PSG and this maybe a good move for the former Valencia man.  However, I would still like him to improve his game and regain a spot in the Chelsea starting 11.

Wilfred Zaha (Manchester United/England/Ivory Coast) – Midfield

Wilfried_ZahaZaha came into the transfer firing line for many top clubs while he led Crystal Palace out of the Championship into the Premier League.  His importance to his former team can be seen in the way the London based team has struggled so far this year.  Leaving that aside, Zaha looked to be a main piece in developing a younger, more attractive United.  However, the change of management has seen Zaha isolated to the bench.  With the rise of fellow young midfielder Adnan Januzaj, Zaha’s chances at Old Trafford seem to be dwindling by the day.  While we have not seen him play at a high level yet, his quality is still undeniable.

Edin Dzeko (Manchester City/Bosnia-Hertzegovina) – Forward

Dzeko must have thought with the transfer of Tevez that he would find himself a staple at the Etihad.  However, with Edin-Dzeko-Norwich-Manchester-City-Premier-Le_2879451the acquisition of Spanish international Negredo, Dzeko again finds himself down on the pecking order.  The Bosnian is well known for his aerial ability and his knack for scoring goals.  However, he seems to lack the technical ability that would make him a regular in Pellegrini’s 11.  There are whispers that Dzeko is quite distraught about his current surroundings, and he is looking for a way out of the Etihad.  If this is true, he would make quite a difference to one of the many teams in this striker hungry market.

 Jermain Defoe (Tottenham/England) – Forward

jermain-defoeDefoe is a goal scoring machine.  His diagonal runs terrify defenders around the world.  However the Englishman has fallen out of grace for both club and country.  Despite being a prototypical English number nine, Hodgson seems to prefer Sturridge for the roll.  At least this selection is warranted since Sturridge seems to be unable to stop scoring goals while in a Liverpool shirt.  Meanwhile, at Tottenham, Defoe sits on the bench while Spurs have scored an abysmal 9 goals as a team this year.  Three Premier League strikers have at least equaled that number this year.  While most managers would see this as a sign that maybe it is time for a change, AVB has decided to stick it out with Spanish front man Soldado.  I would not be surprised to see Defoe with a different crest on his chest soon, especially with the World Cup approaching.

Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez (Manchester United/Mexico)

While the Mexican little pea has seen an increase in playing time under Moyes, he has yet to receive the starting javier-hernandez_1693168cminutes he believes he deserves.  After being left out of the Mexican World Cup Play-Off against New Zealand, Hernandez has to feel a little down on himself.  However he is seen at Old Trafford as THE super sub.  He comes on in key situations when the Red Devils need a goal, and more times than not he delivers.  Hernandez is currently on the wish list of many top clubs and was the inspiration for this team of misfits.  While his future in the Mexican side is most likely not threatened, it would still be great to see Chicharito as a regular in a Premier League side.

Worlds Top 10 (5-1)

We continue with the second installment of our top 10 players in the world.  10-6 are available here.

5. Gareth Bale (Wales/Real Madrid)

Even though Bale was unable to lead the small nation of Wales past the group stages of World Cup Qualifying, Bale is a balephenomenal talent.  Bale struggled at the beginning of his career playing left back for Southhampton and Tottenham.  The Spurs manager, AVB, was brilliant enough to move the Welshman to a more attacking roll and Bale thrived.  His ability to score big goals got the attention of Los Blancos promting Real Madrid to make a record move for the Welshman.   Bale struggled with fitness early this year but has sense settled into the most potent attack in the world.

4. Frank Ribery (France/Bayern Munich)

riberyRibery is the best player on the best team in the world.  His pass in last year’s Champions League final led the German side over archrivals Dortmund.  His technical ability combined with his unique understanding of the game make the Frenchmen a handful for any opponent.  However, Ribery’s ranking is slightly tarnished by his international form.  France has struggled in recent years and a huge part of this is Ribery’s doing.  Ribery’s importance of form can definitely be seen in club and country.

3. Lionel Messi (Argentina/Barcelona)

When all is said and done Messi will most likely be the greatest player of all time.  His vision on and off the ball is messisecond to none, and his inspired runs light up Camp Nou.  The importance of Messi can currently be seen at Barcelona, who quite hasn’t looked themselves without the Argentine in the lineup.  Messi has struggled with a hamstring injury this year and has limited him in many ways.  However, 80 percent of Messi is better than almost any player at 100 percent.

2. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Sweden/Paris St. Germain)

zlatanZlatan cannot stop scoring goals this year and is the best pure number 9 in the world.  His knack for finishing almost any ball played his way is unrivaled.  His flashy personality is mirrored in some of the unbelievable goals he has scored in the last year.  The Swede has had an issue in finding a home throughout his career bouncing from Ajax to Juventus to Inter Milan to Barcelona to AC Milan which seems to have disrupted his brilliance.  However, he seems comfortable in his new Parisian surrounding and his production shows it.

1. Christiano Ronaldo (Portugal/Real Madrid)

Ronaldo needs no introduction.  The former Manchester United prodigy doesn’t have a weakness in his game.  He is ronaldofast, physical, technically gifted and, most importantly, the best goal scorer in the world.  While most players hope for a goal every few games, Ronaldo scores multiple goals a game.  While the Portuguese winger has been occasionally overcast by Messi, Ronaldo has taken advantage of the Argentine’s injury and surged past him.  The one knock on Christiano can be that his team sits 3rd in La Liga’s table and his international team struggle during qualifying.  However, it’s hard to see any match up this year where a team that includes Ronaldo will not be favored.

Worlds Top 10 (10-6)

As the third way mark for most of the European Leagues draws near, the type of year the top players in the world are going to have becomes more apparent.  There are a few notable snubs that need to be mentioned before SBDS current top 10 rankings are released.  Ramires (Brazil, Chelsea) has really come into his own in the holding midfield in Chelsea Blue.  His runs create havic and his defensive effort is second to none.   Robin Van Persie (The Netherlands, Manchester United) is having a sensational year scoring 7 goals in 10 games and becoming the all time leading scorer in Dutch history.  Robert Lewandowski (Poland, Borussia Dortmund) continues to look dangerous in Dortmund colors even though his world cup campaign has come to an end.  The dual Liverpool threat of Sturridge (England) and Suarez (Uruguay) also have an argument to make the list.  However, the top 10 list has a component of not just who the top goal scorers are but their importance to both their national and club teams.

10. Wayne Rooney (England, Manchester United)

rooney There was a significant percentage of the population that would’ve guessed that Rooney would be in anything but Manchester Red during the summer.  There hasn’t been a single player more important to their club and country then Wayne this year.  He is a pure footballer who has the ability to succeed at almost every position on the pitch and his defensive effort cannot be underestimated.  Rooney’s technical ability is severely underestimated due to his workmen’s mentality on the pitch.  However United’s Number 10 is the lynchpin for both United’s season and England’s World Cup hopes.

9. Philipp Lahm (Germany, Bayern Munich)

Lahm is another player whose importance to both the top club and national side cannot be underestimated.  In lahmGerman colors Lahm connects the backline to the midfield and is crucial to Germany’s counterattack ability.  It is funny to think of a right back being the quarterback for a top national side that includes the likes of Bastian Schweinsteiger and Mesut Ozil, but Lahm manages this roll well.  Lahm has accepted a distributing roll in Bayern’s adopted 4-1-4-1 system and has been called the best pound for pound footballer by Pep Guardiola.

8. Ramadel Falcao (Columbia, Monaco)

falcaoFalcao was the main acquisition for Dmitry Rybolovlev’s spending spree this summer, snatching him from the likes of Real Madrid and Chelsea.  The Columbian front man hasn’t disappointed this year scoring 9 goals in 13 games in Ligue 1 so far this season.  Falcao’s mere presence is enough to make the most competent back line in the world feel self conscience.  His ability to score goals out of nothing and to turn the momentum of a game completely around is a skill that very few players in the world possess.

7. Sergio Aguero (Argentina, Manchester City)

Aguero has been by far the best player in the Premier League this year.  Scoring 8 goals in 10 games in England and 5aguero goals in 4 games in Champions League, the Argentine is trying to will his team to greatness.  This is not a new roll for Aguero.  Two years ago it was his late goal against QPR that secured the title for the rowdy neighbors and left their cross town rivals in absolute shock.  His importance to his team can be seen when he is just slightly out of form.  When Aguero doesn’t score City have lost twice and have drawn once.  The Powder Blues will definitely need him to keep up his current form if they wish to challenge for a title.

6. Edinson Cavani (Uruguay, Paris St. Germain)

cavaniCavani is one of the most dangerous players on the planet.  His skill on the ball, combined with his ability to pick out the right run almost every time, makes the Uruguayan a threat both on and off the ball.  There is a reason the PSG were so keen to spend a large amount of money to bring Cavani from Napoli to Paris.  The addition of PSG’s new number 9 takes PSG from quarterfinal contenders in the Champions League to title favorites.  Currently Cavani is tied with Falcao with 9 goals on top of Ligue 1.  However, unlike Falcao, who stepped immediately into the roll, Cavani had to adapt to the presence of Zlatan Ibrahimovic.  This forced PSG manager Laurent Blanc to bring Cavani on as a substitute early in the year, which makes his goal scoring record that much more impressive.

6 Beers Deep Podcast 11/8/13



0:00 Analyzing the Oregon Stanford game.

8:00 Can anyone jump Florida State if they win out?

NCAA Football: Miami at Florida State


10:00 Can a one loss team hop Ohio State for the Championship game assuming one of the top two falter?

13:50 Breaking down the big game in Tuscaloosa. LSU v Alabama


22:30 Champions League Review


33:30 BPL’s Player of the Year up to this point.


38:00 Best Team in the BPL up to this point in the season.

46:20 Jonathan Martin Miami Dolphins Debacle