Monday Bitch: Daniel Snyder

Brad Johnson, Jeff George, Tony Banks, Shane Mathews, Patrick Ramsey, Danny Wuerfell, LegendTim Hasselbeck, Mark Brunell, Jason Campbell, Tod Collins, Donovan McNabb, Rex Grossman, John Beck, Robert Griffin III, Colt McCoy, Kirk Cousins… What does everyone on this needlessly long list of names have in common?  They have started at the Quarterback position under the ownership of this knucklehead.  While it’s no Cleveland Browns situation, the list shows the complete instability of the third highest revenue generating NFL franchise.  The Redskins are one of the great NFL franchises but have been 125-162-1 and been to the playoffs only 5 times with 2 playoffs wins in the last 18 years.

So, what is the issue?  First, this micromanaging psychopath can’t let anyone do their jobs.  Ex-general managers and coaches alike have reported in confidence that the relinquishing of the reigns in public is completely for show.  This even extends to winning coaches that ignore his “advice”.  This action generally leads to break downs in communication and a hostile relationship. Washington Post Writer Sally Jenkins reports that Snyder often uses the tactic of suggesting a free agent to play the expensive live version of fantasy football he inflicts on the Washington faithful.  If a coach doesn’t submit to this grown-up adaptation of bullying they’re often forced out soon after.  Wait did Tuck Sauce just quote a source?  F*** yea I did!  Actual journalism going on at SBDS!  Anyone I digress from my tirade targeted at the bane of my existence.  Like bro, if Albert Haynesworth was completely my damn idea, I might take a break from berating my GMs.

Let’s talk about the final piece of this calamity; the fan experience.  You would think that the Redskins would be able to provide a decent fan experience since they can’t put a product onto the field.  But they don’t.  I haven’t been to every stadium in the NFL circuit but the games I’ve seen at Heinz Field, Bank of America, M&T Bank, and Lambeau are infinitely better than what I’ve had to experience at FedEx.  Now look, if you spend the money and get a club seat or a box seat it is a great experience inside.  However, FedEx is on the end of a metro line and that stop is a mile away from the stadium.  Additionally, if FedEx Fieldyou decide to drive; traffic is an absolute shambles.  Oh, and once you’re there, this douche nugget charges in certain areas for people to tailgate to drive them under the Bud light tent so you have the privilege of purchasing $14 dollar pints.  And don’t get me started on the cave.  Here’s a picture of an actual seat in FedEx from the cave that I took.  My seats were only 3 over from this disgrace.  Like da fuq?

Daniel Snyder is a typical example of a billionaire that treats his investment better than a drunken Bostonian treats his red headed step child.  Both passive aggressively criticizing and damaging self confidence in any way possible, and then cashing the kid’s paycheck he got from bagging groceries so he can buy another 40 of OE or whatever the hell they drink north of the Mason Dixon Line.  Was that a run-on sentence?  Damn I guess the illusion of actual semi-journalism is completely shattered.  But that’s how angry this dude makes me.

PS. Can you just sign Kirk Cousins to a long-term deal so we don’t have to start Brian Kirk CousinsHoyer in 2018? K, thanks!

Look, at the end of the day the dude has some massive cash and is making a lot of money, so you’d figure he’s not a complete and total idiot.  And it is technically his team.  However, braj if we stop buying jerseys and going to games because we get treated like a rock you’re trying to squeeze blood out of, that money is going dry up.  Damn, who am I kidding… is it football season yet?


Burying Hambino

I am only writing this article because Hambino bitched and moaned about me burying his mock draft post with something entertaining.  And because of that I decided to bury it with another article.  So, suck it.

While we’re at it Hambino continually calls me a glory hunter and how much better my life is as a sports fan is than his.  But let’s face it.  I would rather win championships than be a better team most years.  Who the hell cares if the last five years the Redskins have been better than the Buccaneers.  I can’t remember a Redskins Super Bowl yet he can remember a Bucs.  We’ve agreed on this point many times but for some reason he continually ignores it because the fact doesn’t validate his argument.  Typical Hambino with his alternative facts.  Let’s lay it out on the line here.  He may not be a die-hard just how I am not for some of these teams but here it is on the line.

He’s a Swansea fan, which granted sucks.  Being a Chelsea fan is fantastic compared to that joke of a club.  We’ve already covered the football route so he wins there.  Baseball he’s at least got to see the Rays go to a series while my Orioles can’t seem to make it past the ALDS.  Same argument holds up in Basketball.  The Wizards are finally good enough to run right into Lebron James at the height of his game while he’s seen his Magic get to a final.  Oh, and don’t get me started on my ever-disappointing heartbreak that is the Washington Capitals.

In summation, Hambino stop your bitching about how I am such a glory hunter.  I would rather watch anxiety free a terrible team with no chance punctuated by Championships than this continual mediocrity and heartbreak that is my sporting life.  At least we can both agree on the Noles and USMNT.  

Is it Football Season Yet?

Well Ladies and Gentlemen we’ve entered it.  That black hole of sports between the time that football ends and when football begins.  I know I’m not alone here.  Tons of people are so bored with their lives they completely forget the college football performances the year before and choose to vest all of their interests on watching what can really only be described as the Olympics Lite.  I lost all respect for this process when a wide receiver couldn’t catch a ball but because he was the reincarnate of the Flash, Darrius Heyward-Bay, first of his name, king of the butterfingers, lord of the terrapins, and the khaleesi of the grass sea went 7th overall.  I would like to say there is hope but there’s not.

dukesucks1Let’s start with the closest upcoming event.  March Madness.  As a Florida State fan, I’m really excited to see us maybe get to the Sweet Sixteen, so I can get my hopes way up only to see them dashed like a baby bird on a sidewalk.  The best part of March Madness for me is seeing Duke and Kentucky fans having this same devastation on their title hopes.  But here’s the problem Happy.  You aren’t any good.  Or at least not good enough for them to experience the same pain that’ll I’ll suffer.

Sticking with basketball… Cavaliers vs Warriors.  Even with Kevin Durant hurt, can we just please hit the fast forward button to get there please?

Oh wait I forgot Spring Training is here!   To me the best part of Spring Training is having an excuse to sit outside in Arizona and Florida the only time of the year it is actually bearable to be outside in those nursing homes that call themselves states.  For the rest of us who are stuck fighting the bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings asking her to please put on the Champions League matches but she can’t because some Braves fan is on his 3rd lip and 4th Michelob ultra is enjoying the only time this year his team isn’t 6 -252, it sucks.  Run on sentence?  Moving on!

“Great now Tuck Sauce is going talk about how soccer is the only exciting thing going on.”


                                          Steven Glansberg eating dessert by himself

Well f*** off imaginary voice invented by me to get the point of this article across.  The title race is over.  Chelsea have won it not because they’re incredible; it’s just the rest of the top 6 are garbage.  Liverpool have won twice in twelve matches, Mourinho is too far back, Arsenal will end up fourth and Tottenham… Well that joke is just too easy.  And continental soccer is even worse; unless you like French football which let’s face it, not even the French like.  So unless I want to watch Swansea and Middleborough battle for 16th, I’m stuck watching Champions League highlights on YouTube while taking my afternoon BM like I’m Steven Glansberg. (9-5 is so much fun).

But wait there is hope.  Yes, that bastion that keeps me sane through the roller coaster of Virginia winters.  That gentle music with Jim Nantz’s voice emanating through.  Yes, the only event on tour that even Tiger’s absence and Johnny Miller’s presence can’t ruin.  The Masters.  Chances are I’ll probably get the *flu* on Thursday and won’t move except to drink and ummm process Bud Lights until Sunday evening.  I know some of you are saying “Gold Jacket, Green Jacket who gives a shit,” but again imaginary dick head f*** off.  CMON JORDAN!


And Who Would You Entrust Your Franchise?

nflThe Houston Texans, The Jacksonville Jaguars and The Cleveland Browns all have one thing in common. Or they all lack one thing in common. In a quarterback crazed culture, these teams lack what most people refer to as the key to the franchise. All three teams, among others, will most likely chase a QB in the early rounds in the hopes that one day they will complete their franchise allowing their fans to sit around a fire place, hold hands and sing Kumbaya. This is not the year too make that chase though.

Johnny Manziel is the name on all the draft experts list and its easy to see why. The former Heisman trophy winner is flashy and ballsy. His playmaking ability is second to none in the 083113-CFB-AGGIES-JOHNNY-MANZIEL-DC-PI3_20130831155021857_335_220country. He is also second to none in another category though. He is an idiot. Do you really want your franchise quarterback running around starting bar fights? A broken throwing hand due to punching the guy whose girl friend he was hitting on wouldn’t read well on your fantasy updates, none the less a team sheet. This anger issue has also manifested itself on the field in the form of persistent taunting. Combine all of this with lack of respect of authority and questions about durability and as a GM you have a recipe for disaster.

Teddy Bridgewater seemingly lacks the character issues of his peer, but hasn’t lacked the publicity. Last year Bridgewater responded to criticism around the strength of schedule surrounding his Heisman run by absolutely demolishing Florida. This was after a month of saying that no Big East offense could possibly overcome the mighty defense that an SEC team could field (Because apparently we forgot about the romping West Virginia put on teddyGeorgia). Bridgewater has accuracy by the bucket-load and coming out of a Charlie Strong system most likely means he is very disciplined. First round picks are valuable commodities though, and to spend one on an undersized player who had a mediocre season isn’t the best option. Bridgewater has a lot of upside but the first 10 picks of any draft should be reserved for players that will make an immediate impact.

Blake Bortles and Derek Carr fall into the same category for me. Both players draft stocks have massively increased due to impressive seasons. It is also not impossible for an elite QB to come out of a small school. The likes of Ben Roethlisberger, Joe Flacco, and Collin Kaepernick have all come from smaller schools outside of the elite conferences, and 2 of them have one Super Bowls and the 3rd went to one in his first season as a starter. However, to compare Derek Carr to Big Ben is not fair to either player. Blake Bortles struggled against Memphis, Houston and South Florida who aren’t what anyone would call tough opponents and Carr was upended by a weak USC side (the only real opponent the Bulldogs faced all year). With the body of work, there’s no way either one is a first round pick.

There is hope for the QB-less franchises that currently occupy the NFL, but its outside the first round. The likes of

Murray Between the Hedges

Murray Between the Hedges

Aaron Murray, Tajh Boyd and AJ McCarron should be available later in the draft since all three players lack the media attention. Any one that has watched Aaron Murray on film would put him well above Bortles and Carr, but his perpetually injured body of talent that surrounded him at Georgia this year put a damper on his NFL push. He also has a blown ACL but as a pocket passer this isn’t an overwhelming concern.  Tajh Boyd gets a terrible wrap because he was constantly beat up by FSU and South Carolina on the big stage but his wins over Georgia, LSU and Ohio State shows he can perform. Finally, AJ McCarron may be the best game manager in college football. Best of all, teams will be given a chance to develop these players since the pressure to start them will be considerably less.

hi-res-185381491-jameis-winston-of-the-florida-state-seminoles_crop_northQuarterbacks are important for the growth of a franchise and a great one can overcome a lot of flaws that exist in a team. The answer isn’t forcing a player not ready for it in that situation into it. The answer is simple. Build. If the player isn’t there, trade down and acquire picks. Picks are currency. Utilize the free agent pool and trade. Or wait and tank for Jameis Winston.  Football is a game of 3 phases, and a quarterback only affects one of those.

For more on the Quarterback Fallacy check out one of my other articles here.
Make sure to check out our Facebook Page and follow us on twitter @FSUfanatic2, or follow my Page and on twitter @TuckSauceSBDS

The Ugly Swan and Cowardly Lion Podcast 1.13.14


We start with Gene Deckerhoffs radio call for the Florida State National Championship game winning touchdown.


College Football

-Including our 4 teams that we think will make the playoffs next year!




-We talk NFL playoffs.  Who we think will win and what teams the hottest.



Premier League

-Suraez keeps up his run of goals. Another terrible officiating call costs a Premier League squad a chance at a point.  Even go over the game going on live in Aresnal v Aston Villa. We go over it all.



Transfer News



Lads Banter

Random chit chat.  The best part of our shows as always. Rory McIlroys future plans.  Whose hotter?  Messis wife or Ronaldos girlfriend?  We discuss Anchorman 2. CHELSEAAAA!


The Quarterback Fallacy

nflThe regular season in the NFL has ended and for 20 of the 32 teams in the NFL its draft time. Next year the 12 teams that made the playoffs will be looking to improve to push them to the next level, while the 10 teams with top draft picks are looking for the rebuild. While it is popular to think that bringing a franchise quarterback to Jacksonville will take the Jaguars to the promise land, the fact is this is the farthest thing from the truth. Year after year we have to hear about how this one player will solve the problem. This is not the NBA. Football is the ultimate team sport and one player is not the be all end all.

imageTeams are looking for the next Peyton Manning or Andrew Luck and to be honest why would’t you be? Players of this caliber are hard to come by and if you have the chance you draft them. The problem is though this is a dream situation and too many NFL GMs get drawn into drafting a player that was never the same caliber. For every Cam Newton there is a JaMarcus Russell out there. But why do teams fall into these horrible decisions? Many AFC East fans would like to think that Bill Belicheck has perfected the art of inception in order to win the division every year but the answer is founded more in reality. The reality is Walmart used this problem to become the most successful retail company in the world.

Impulse buying may work for Doritoes but shouldn’t be used when purchasing a multimillion dollar asset. Yes selling jerseys is great but what does it do to the overall quality of the franchise. All 10 of the teams that won the first 10 draft picks this year have drafted a “franchise” QB in the last 15 years (Ryan, Stafford, Ponder, Manuel, Griffin 3, Gabbert, Carr, Russell, Locker, Freeman) while half of the teams going to the playoffs have a QB that was selected after the first round. On top of that, there have been 12 QBs selected as the first pick in recent years, 4 of which were on teams that failed to make the playoffs and 4 of which were drummed out of the NFL all together. 33% may sound like a good percentage until you learn that only 2 of the 12 have won a Superbowl. Any economist or portfolio manager will tell you a less then 20% success rate on a multimillion dollar deal is not worth the risk. To make matters worse only 5 of the last 38 QBs drafted in the first round have won a Super Bowl and 17 no longer start in the NFL.

The otherside of the coin is that out of the 7 quarterbacks who have won the last image10 Super Bowls, all have been first round picks except for Brady and Brees. However Rodgers, Eli Manning and Big Ben all entered situations where they just simply improved on a perennial powerhouse, and Flacco won one with a huge help from his Ray Lewis led defense. This leaves Peyton Manning as the only QB that really came in and changed the fate of his franchise.

Lets face it, Jacksonville, Washington, Cleveland and their bottom dwelling compatriots have a lot of issues. You don’t win only 4 games in a season and hope one player solves all your problems the next. The Texans are in a great position in that they have proved in the past they have a capable team on both sides of the ball. Their biggest issue is at QB and with a talent like Teddy Bridgewater entering the draft it makes since to take him first. History shows though that the teams with that need below them should be wary. Don’t waste a pick on another Carr (metaphorically and literally) hoping that he is the right answer especially with a lot of talent still on the board.

The top franchises in the NFL have realized one thing. If you have a high pick, and there is no player that can immediately fit your needs, trade down. The best franchises realize that teams win championships, not just a QB. As a fan of one of these bottom dwellers that has drafted a franchise quarterback, I can tell you it is frustrating to see a talent with no help around him. While the QB is the most important player on any team, the NFL requires 54 solid players through all three facets of the game. The likes of Brady, Foles and Wilson have proved that if you build this good team and wait to find that player, the dividends are massive.

The NFL Season in Review

This was yet another topsy-turvy year in the NFL.  We had changing of the guards in some divisions and we had some old vets continue their dominance at the top.  Not to mention for some of the old vets we saw them make history.  Take notes youngsters. However we did see some of the young guns get better and some take steps back.  We definitely have exciting playoffs to look forward to but that’s for another day. Enough about these random topics lets find out what we really learned this year in the recap of the NFL Regular Season.

Peyton Manning is still well…Peyton Manning. 

His 55 regular season touchdowns were a record setting mark.  Breaking the previous record of 50 set by his rival Tom Brady.  Not to mention he took away Drew Brees passing record of 5,476 eclipsing it by one yard and getting to 5,477. It was a big part to the Denver Broncos setting the record for most points scored in the regular season.  Chalk another accomplishment to the many Peyton has in the REGULAR SEASON.

Cowboys still cant get out of their December slump.

            The Cowboys again found themselves in a win or go home game in the final week of the regular season. Again they find themselves on the outside looking in for the third year in a row.  This time however they did it without Tony Romo.

Chicago again can thank the Cowboys for covering up their December blunder.

            Again the Chicago bears fell apart at the end of the season.  It seems that every year the Bears start hot. This year 3-0 and last year 7-1 only to see them falter down the stretch and miss the playoffs.  Ending this year 2-4 and last year losing five of their last eight.  Much like the Cowboys they had a win or go home versus a team on their own field and couldn’t come away with a victory.  Suddenly the switch back to Cutler doesn’t look so good does it?

The NFC West is no longer the laughing stock of the NFL

            Remember 4 years ago when the NFC West was atrocious? Well that’s not the case anymore.  Three teams finished with 10 or more wins.  Those teams being the number 1 seed Seattle Seahawks, reigning NFC Champions San Francsico 49ers, and Arizona Cardinals.  Not to mention its not like the Rams at 7-9 were anything to laugh about. Its without a doubt the new black and blue division in the NFL.

The Panthers aren’t a team built around Cam Newton anymore.

            This team is winning games not because of Cam Newton but more in large part to Luke Kuechly and that loaded defense.  Does it help that Cam Newton is there?  Yes. But now he doesn’t have to feel the need to shoulder the weight of the team on his back.  This team is dangerous right now.  Its not a team to take lightly if they are to find themselves in Seattle fighting for the right to represent the NFC.

The defensive coordinators halted the second coming of Jesus on the spread option.

            Sure did we see the spread option continue in the NFL this year? Yes.  But it wasn’t nearly as effective as it was last year.  When you get an entire offseason to prepare for the spread offense it certainly makes its less effective.  However teams that had mobile AND accurate quarterbacks still made life miserable for opposing defenses.  Those teams being the Seattle Seahawks and the Nick Foles led Philadelphia Eagles.  Whereas teams that had quarterbacks that were a bit more inaccurate saw their offenses take steps back.  Those teams being Washington, San Francisco and the Michael Vick led Eagles.

Steeler fans still think the NFL has it out for them.

After the last week of the season and all the blown calls in the San Diego Kansas City game last night its only fitting that Steeler nation is cry fowl again.  I cant begin to tell you how many status, tweets I saw about this last night. The conversations amongst these fans around the water cooler is definitely going to be about how Roger Goddell has it out for the Steelers.  Well you may have a case Steeler fans but maybe next year don’t start out 0-4.  Take care of business early and you wont have to count on other things to go your way.

The Houston Texans fans are quick to turn their back.

            This team for the past three years has been one of the most successful teams in the AFC.  Did they win the Super Bowl or anything?  No.  But they certainly put a good product out on the field.  After a terrible first three games under Matt Shaub the Houston faithful started mocking him.  Making sandwiches called the Matt Shaub Burger saying “Pick Six” toppings after all of his pick sixes to start the year.  To “top” it off when Matt Shaub went down with a nasty looking ankle injury the crowd cheered that he was down for the count.  Shame on you Texans fans. SHAME. ON. YOU.


The Raiders, Browns, Buccaneers, Jaguars, and Bills are still fighting for worst franchises in NFL football.

            While the Browns and Raiders have an early lead on the chasers its still the same swan song for fans of these franchises.  The Browns and Buccaneers have amassed talented rosters only to see the promise go unfulfilled.  Raiders and Jaguars were plagued by sloppy penalties, turnovers and a revolving door at QB.  Meanwhile the Bills were decimated by injuries all season long.  The question is who will turn it around the quickest?  One thing we do know is that these fans aren’t surprised to see their teams picking in the top end of the draft….Its customary for these teams.  Its like turkey on Thanksgiving.  Couldnt have it any other way.

Black Monday continued in the NFL.

It started late Sunday with the Browns firing Rob Chudzinski after one season.  Then came the firing of Greg Schiano of Tampa Bay, Jim Schwartz of Detroit, Mike Shanahan of Washington and Minnesota’s Leslie Frazier. The writing was on the wall for coaches like Schiano and Shanahan from mid season on.  However the inconsistency of Minnesota under Leslie Frazier is what did him in even with a playoff trip under his name last year.  Then came Jim Schwartz, sitting at 6-3 in a division when the Bears and the Packers were without their starting quarterbacks for the entire second half of the season. Just pencil the Lions in right? Nope they found a way to crap the bed.  Losing six of their final seven games.  Shocking to say the least.

Peyton Manning and Tom Brady led teams are again the teams that sit atop the AFC.

            No shocker here the teams that have the bye week in the AFC come from teams that have Tom Brady or Peyton Manning at the helm.  It only seems like a collision course for these two at Mile High in three weeks.

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the best of the worst.

            The Pittsburgh Steelers are the front runners to win the consolation bracket.  This team started so poorly only to see themselves finish 8-4 to end the season.  If it weren’t for Antonio Brown stepping out by a half inch on the final play against the Dolphins on that wild lateral filled finish in week 15 it would be the Steelers and not the Chargers that would be facing Cincinnati this week.  Below you can see just how close they came.

Nick Foles made NFL History.

            Nick Foles finished the year with a 27-2 touchdown to interception ratio.  Who would have seen that coming from Foles at the beginning of this year?  Certainly not me.  Foles also added a seven touchdown performance versus the Oakland Raiders tying the NFL record for most TD passes thrown in a game.  He sat the entire third quarter or I’m sure he would hold the record.

Chip Kelly added another win for the ex Pac-12 coaches.

            Chip Kelly put another notch in the Pac-12 alumni coach belts.  He (Oregon) along with Pete Carroll (USC) and Jim Harbaugh (Stanford) made the leap from the college ranks to the pro rank by winning their division in their first year at the helm.  All three are in the playoffs this year as well.  TAMPA HIRE DAVID SHAW!!!

Rex Ryan is still a great DEFENSIVE coach.

            Ok we can all make fun of how bad the Jets are at times.  But lets be honest what Rex Ryan was able to accomplish this year was impressive to say the least.  This team has absolutely ZERO offensive playmakers and still found a way to win eight games this year.  Ill let you take a pick of the litter in terms of Jet playmakers on offense and I would be willing to bet that not only would none of them start on any other NFL team but that only half would even crack the second team offense in other systems.  Now some of that can be pinned on Ryan for not addressing this in the draft but what he was able to squeeze out of this roster this year was great. Maybe it was the magic belly rubs?

The Rams won the gamble.

Two years ago the Rams traded away the rights to the number two spot in the NFL Draft to the Washington Redskins so they could draft RGIII.  What they received in return were three first round picks and a second rounder.  Well now the Rams, thanks to the Washington Redskin debacle this year, earned the number two pick in this years draft.  The Rams are already loaded and improving and now it will only get better after they won “the gamble”.

The teams at the top of the draft order this year were one year to early.

            Teams that finished at the bottom of the league were a bit premature with their ability to suck the most.  This years quarterback draft class is average to say the least, especially if Teddy Bridgewater goes back to school. Sure will Johnney football sell tickets?  Yes.  But I still don’t buy that he’s a franchise quarterback.  I look at him much as I did Vince Young.  But next year you have the likes of Jameis Winston, Marcus Mariota, Bryce Petty and potentially Teddy Bridgewater.  I pray the Buccaneers are picking number 1 next year.  GM’s wont have to squint at all the names on the big board if they’re picking number one next year.  It will simply show a big name that even J-boo can read.  JAMEIS WINSTON.