If You Wear a Men’s Romper I will Choke You

mens rompersOk, I wasn’t going to post today.  And to be fair this has absolutely nothing to do with sports, beer and/or food so I shouldn’t be posting about it.  However, I feel like this needs to be talked about.  If you are a dude wearing a romper and I see you anywhere at all, I will chase you down with the goal of eliminating you from the gene pool.  Seriously.

 

All fashion has its place in the world.  For instance, the only place in the world to wear Jortsmale jorts (or jean shorts for you not up on the hip lingo) is the swamp for Florida Gators football.  I don’t know why a bunch of Walmart shopping, 3 tooth having, Busch light drinking rednecks believe it’s appropriate to wear a form of clothing that has been out of style since 1985 to watch an offense gain 14 years over the span of 4 hours, but it is.  You’ll fit right in. #TimTebowWearsJorts.  Women you’re allowed to wear jean shorts as long as they have no longer than a 3-inch inseam.  And no mom shorts. PALLEASE. However, a romper for dudes has no place.

snuggieI’m not one to be completely against all stupid fashion trends as well.  I am pro Snuggie.  Yes, I know it’s just a robe turned backward making me take the whole thing off just to take a pee.  However, it keeps my arms warm while I upload inappropriate meme’s onto SBDS’s Facebook page.  This simple invention allows me to stay comfortable so I can entertain the 10s of you that read this nonsense.

Following up this whole romper nonsense.  Can we do away with rompers?  Every year during concert and baseball season I watch girls trade in Daisy Dukes and Sun Dresses for this hideous piece of garment.  And here’s a secret dudes.  They don’t like wearing them in public.  If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a girl not wanting to use a public restroom because they have to get bare-naked to do a very simple act of nature, I’d have a whole 45 cents.  Seriously, humanity, I feel like this is something that we can all get behind! BAN ROMPERS!

Womens Sports are Sexy

USWNT Alex Morgan

USWNT Alex Morgan

Ah Title IX, the mere words make athletic directors cringe.  However, since the implementation of this controversial law one thing is becoming apparent.  Female athletes are getting better and better looking.  It cracks me up to hear some men out there complaining about how athletic women are butchy or too manly.  Muscle tone is sexy!  A woman in great shape should be just as admired as a male in good condition.  In a time where obesity is rampant in the USA it is ridiculous to complain out about these athletic women being too athletic.  The thing us guys should be worried about is how attractive can these girls get!

Not long ago it wasn’t uncommon for athletes to be smokers or to be seen eating pizza after a game.  It was an era of 300 pound linemen who couldn’t be moved because they could barely move themselves.  The increase in financial compensation and anatomical knowledge has kicked many of these old habits to the ground.  As a side effect, athletes across the board have gotten better looking.

There has been a shift in American culture in the last couple years, thanks in large part to the efforts of the US Women’s Soccer team.  Until the popularity boom of our national side, “ladies” were expected to participate only in a few sports many of which we only saw every four years (i.e. Olympics).  The problem with most of these sports is that they’re very expensive, require special equipment and travel.  Athletic competitions such as Ballet and Gymnastics also take a heavy toll on a body and usually leads to very short careers.  On top of all this, the potential financial payout for possessing these skill sets were very, very low.  This usually meant that many of women were turned away from their potential sport at an early age.  Soccer was the perfect sport to overcome all of this.  Combined with its easy acceptability and relative cheapness with the image of soccer not being the toughest sport, the American public was ready to accept a team sport for Daddy’s little girl.

Brandi Chastain Scores Game Winning Penalty

Brandi Chastain Scores Game Winning Penalty

When Brandi Chastain kicked that winning PK and subsequently pulled her shirt off, she brought a US Women’s Team sport

Professional Golfer Natalie Gulbis

Professional Golfer Natalie Gulbis

into the mainstream.  Suddenly women’s soccer was on the front page of ESPN and Sports Illustrated.  This increased the exposure of the sport and made it more lucrative for the average young girl to play.  Since more girls are staying longer with sports, it makes sense that more attractive women are also staying with it.  The nature of sport also means that these women are more prone to being fit and therefor better looking.

The increase of financial backing, popularity and visibility have resulted in female athletes becoming more and more

attractive.  Some people will say this is a sexist viewpoint that only hurts women’s sports but the opposite is true.  The fact that there are gorgeous women like Alex Morgan, Natalie Gulbis and Danica Patrick that love to promote their sport brings newcomers and more money.  These women have shattered the misconception that girls can be pretty or play sports but not both and are quietly disrupting the glass ceiling of athletics.