Why You Are Wrong About LaVar Ball

I assume everyone will hate me after this but I don’t give a flying F-ety F.  So here we go….

Let me start by saying I may not totally agree with everything that LaVar rattles out of his mouth however I am here to do what no one else seems to do and that is defend this guy.  Now many of you may not know but there are three pretty, ehhhhh actually 2, talented kids named Lonzo, some middle kid who sucks, and then Lamello Ball who dropped 92 points on kids in a high school game.  They are of course overshadowed by the man in all the headlines by, their father, LaVar Ball.  I am actually pretty sick of the exposure he is getting already but it made me think this guy is a f-ing genius.  Take your hater-blockers off and look at it from the other side…..

I think LaVar is not as dumb/bad as people think.  He is taking a unknown route to build his brand BBB, Big Baller Brand, by not just signing off to Nike, Adidas, whoever the else makes basketball shoes.  Can we just stop for a second and think of how genius that marketing ploy is?  If you wear my stuff you are a Big Baller.  If you don’t you are a nobody.  That is elitist as it get in terms of ego and let’s be honest people eat that s^%& up.  Love that by the way.  While I do think that is dumb to initially turn down the guaranteed money and then just parlay Lonzo’s success into BBB, I got to give him credit on this point because the man knows how to market BBB.  Surely you have let it cross your mind that he says stupid things like “I would be Jordan in his prime” to create the headline.  He makes that kind of comment and it’s all over Facebook, Twitter, TV, morning shows, and radio outlets everywhere and guess what is all over the news?  LaVar wearing/talking about his kids brand.  FREE ADVERTISING.  I would love to see how much Nike or Adidas would have to pay to get that kind of free airtime.  That is a major companies wet dream.  This guy gets it all for free.  And people eat it up.  He is the talk around every water cooler at work.  Oh and did I mention he even found a way to shut the loudest guy on TV, Stephen A Smith, up?  Yep….

People always think of the pressure LaVar is putting on his kids but have you thought about it from the other side.  Think of how much pressure he is taking off?  For example the middle kid who sucks he is getting a full ride to UCLA….UCLA!  One of the most prestigious college basketball universities in the country.   If he didn’t negotiate that 3 for 1 (you get all kids or no kids) deal with UCLA do you think that kid would be getting that full ride?  Hell no.  Instead, he would be grinding to get into some lower D1 or D2 school getting pennies on the dollar compared to what that scholarship is worth.  I remember when I was in school I was grinding to get into FSU (insert some Gator joke about FSU being a shit school go ahead).  Anyways, that was a lot of stress.  These last two kids don’t have anything to worry about!  Let’s play the hypothetical and if Lonzo did only want to play for the Lakers or did want his own shoe brand he hasn’t had to be the one to come say it and look like that cocky 18-19 year old kid talking game he hasn’t earned.  LaVar does that for them!  He plays the villain.  I actually hear how many times that people go “Man I feel bad for these kids that they have such a shitty dad”.  Even people feel for the kids!  LaVar takes all of the criticism and deflects it off of his kids.  Is that not the definition of a good dad?  In the coaching world you are lauded for that, but this man is crucified?  Hypocritical.

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LaVar didn’t put his kids in AAU ball because he didn’t want them to play with kids who were already studs.  He wanted them to play with kids who had lesser ability so he could get his boys to raise the abilities of the other kids he was playing with.  Don’t bring up the younger brother dropping 92 because that was a high school game.  Not AAU.  Instead LaVar had his kids playing against older kids at a young age.  11 years old Lonzo was playing against 15 and 16 year old players.  I don’t care how talented you are go pick out a 16 year old high school kid and pick out some dweeb 11 year old and there is a HUGE difference in height, weight, maturity, skill.  He could have been playing against some of the same aged kids beating up on some bum AAU teams in the summer but instead he was getting his A$$ handed to by older kids.  You grow up quick like that.

Finally, LaVar Ball has managed to raise three, from what we can tell so far, pretty well rounded kids.  Take LaVar out of this, I have never heard Lonzo say anything from HIS mouth that seemed outlandish or crazy.  He is a pretty well-mannered kid and soft spoken which is crazy given the fact that he is 19 and has been a superstar since birth. We don’t hear him saying his teammates sucked at UCLA.   I don’t hear him coming out and saying he wants to ONLY go to the Lakers.  Sure does he WANT to go to the Lakers?  Absolutely, he is a hometown kid.  What kid wouldn’t want to go to their childhood team?  If I was a high school football stud I wouldn’t even need a visit to another school because it would be FSU by a mile.  Bucs for NFL, Magic for NBA, Swansea for soccer.  No brainer.

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Look there is 98% more people hating on LaVar but I tend to think it’s a bit of wizardry.  I commend him for being so different in a world of sheep.  I don’t know how this story will end but god I can’t wait.

#HambinoOut

Is it Football Season Yet?

Well Ladies and Gentlemen we’ve entered it.  That black hole of sports between the time that football ends and when football begins.  I know I’m not alone here.  Tons of people are so bored with their lives they completely forget the college football performances the year before and choose to vest all of their interests on watching what can really only be described as the Olympics Lite.  I lost all respect for this process when a wide receiver couldn’t catch a ball but because he was the reincarnate of the Flash, Darrius Heyward-Bay, first of his name, king of the butterfingers, lord of the terrapins, and the khaleesi of the grass sea went 7th overall.  I would like to say there is hope but there’s not.

dukesucks1Let’s start with the closest upcoming event.  March Madness.  As a Florida State fan, I’m really excited to see us maybe get to the Sweet Sixteen, so I can get my hopes way up only to see them dashed like a baby bird on a sidewalk.  The best part of March Madness for me is seeing Duke and Kentucky fans having this same devastation on their title hopes.  But here’s the problem Happy.  You aren’t any good.  Or at least not good enough for them to experience the same pain that’ll I’ll suffer.

Sticking with basketball… Cavaliers vs Warriors.  Even with Kevin Durant hurt, can we just please hit the fast forward button to get there please?

Oh wait I forgot Spring Training is here!   To me the best part of Spring Training is having an excuse to sit outside in Arizona and Florida the only time of the year it is actually bearable to be outside in those nursing homes that call themselves states.  For the rest of us who are stuck fighting the bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings asking her to please put on the Champions League matches but she can’t because some Braves fan is on his 3rd lip and 4th Michelob ultra is enjoying the only time this year his team isn’t 6 -252, it sucks.  Run on sentence?  Moving on!

“Great now Tuck Sauce is going talk about how soccer is the only exciting thing going on.”

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                                          Steven Glansberg eating dessert by himself

Well f*** off imaginary voice invented by me to get the point of this article across.  The title race is over.  Chelsea have won it not because they’re incredible; it’s just the rest of the top 6 are garbage.  Liverpool have won twice in twelve matches, Mourinho is too far back, Arsenal will end up fourth and Tottenham… Well that joke is just too easy.  And continental soccer is even worse; unless you like French football which let’s face it, not even the French like.  So unless I want to watch Swansea and Middleborough battle for 16th, I’m stuck watching Champions League highlights on YouTube while taking my afternoon BM like I’m Steven Glansberg. (9-5 is so much fun).

But wait there is hope.  Yes, that bastion that keeps me sane through the roller coaster of Virginia winters.  That gentle music with Jim Nantz’s voice emanating through.  Yes, the only event on tour that even Tiger’s absence and Johnny Miller’s presence can’t ruin.  The Masters.  Chances are I’ll probably get the *flu* on Thursday and won’t move except to drink and ummm process Bud Lights until Sunday evening.  I know some of you are saying “Gold Jacket, Green Jacket who gives a shit,” but again imaginary dick head f*** off.  CMON JORDAN!

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