I’ll Have….Another One

America and tailgating go hand in hand.  One is not truly an American unless he/she can successfully set up a tailgate.  *** Side note *** If “she” is planning the tailgate you need to go buy a ring and propose on the spot.  Those are like unicorns.  You hear about them but you have never actually seen one in the wild.  Back to reality,  so the question is when you’re setting up your tailgate for the big game what do you go with?  How do you know what beers to bring to please the people?  Are you normal for wanting PBR’s?  Well thanks to Vine Pair we have some numbers.  But we didn’t want some numbers and to just move on.  We like to analyze what we have been given and make sense of this glorious piece of information.
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So as you can see the 20 most popular beers include some of the big boys, Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller light, etc….But even a blind man could have told you in some way or another that those would be at the top. If you want to play the percentages then you have to go with Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Light at your tailgate.  Let’s be honest, if we have to tell you that then you really shouldn’t be hosting a tailgate. However, after we get past the commercial kings that is where things really get fun.

Much to Trump’s dismay, and your wallet, Mexican import Corona comes in at #5.  Much like Trump’s policies Corona, from my experience, can split a room.  People hate it or love it.  If it is alcohol and you can put a lime in it to make it bearable I am all for it.  We all know a couple of those leads to a tequila shot, which leads to a night out, which leads to epic stories.  So if that’s what I get with a Corona sign me up.  Probably not the best tailgating beer but on a boat or in a bar can’t go wrong there.

The most fascinating part of this is how much the college kids boost the rankings of Natty Light, Busch Light and Keystone Light.  If you went to college and didn’t have a good ole Natty you are either going to Harvard, Yale, Cornell, where you are already so loaded that you don’t drink cheap beer or you are “one of those guys”.   Natty was the life line for me in college.  Hit the sketchiest gas station you could and throw the guy a $5 and your fake ID.  Once you built a rapport with the guy you were in there like swimwear.  But heaven forbid that man took a day off!  Saturday night when the crew was counting on you and you walk in and saw your boy wasn’t behind the counter it turned into a scene from Superbad and I was McLovin…

You could always spot the underage kid buying the beer with the fake ID when he was looking for Natty and Keystone.  But after a certain point surely you move on right?  It’s either fewer people move on than I thought or freshman in college are going HAM in the frat houses because they are killing it in sales and these beers are shit.  Regardless, if you’re at a college tailgate you better be ready to go back in time and Nata-pult some beers.  If you’re trying to die on a serious budget go for the Natural Ice.  Good luck waking up the next day after pounding those.

Apparently if you’re going to tailgate with some beer snobs but you’re on a budget according to BA score, whatever the F&%$ that is, then Miller Life and PBR are for you!  I guess this BA thing must be something relevant and some how Miller and PBR came in with scores of 63 and 68 respectively and the average cost is $15 a case!  What a deal!  Compare that with Natty at 43! With an alcohol percentage of 4.6 for Miller and 4.75 for PBR you can smash, please the snobs, and keep money in your wallet!  Who would have known!?

Don’t tailgate with Yuengling or Heineken.  You will end up with way too many to take home. NEXT…..

The last thing that stuck out to me when I was looking at this chart was this Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-rita thing.  Let make one thing clear, we all address the elephant in the room at some point after we get what we want and that is what do the ladies want?  We always look for the girliest drinks.  You can’t go wrong with Bud Light Lime but I didn’t even know this was a thing until this report from VinePair but I would have bought this for sure.  Here’s the only problem with this mystery beer?  Wait is this really a beer?   Anyways the problem is it is a whopping 8% ABV!   If you buy this for your girl and her friends and they are downing them in between selfies and bathroom breaks you are going to be carrying her home instead of the game.  Girls don’t normally drink more than guys as it is, unless your name is Tucker, so if you give them 4 of these puppies you’re screwed!  Good news is for us is this costs a boat load of money so you shouldn’t have too many of them in your ice chest of beers.

So what did we learn today?  Apparently America gives zero f&%$’s about this BA Score thing. You can’t go wrong with the ole reliable Bud Light, Coors, and Miller Light at your tailgate.  If you want to go international you go Corona.  Budget you stick with Natty, Keystone or High Life.  Want to die you go with Natural Ice or Bud Light Platinum.  If you want to be bringing your girl, or Tucker, home on a stretcher pick them up a case of these Straw-ber-itas.

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We’re close to Saturday.  Stay thirsty.  #SAFTB

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