Rule changes at the NFL and College levels of football have affected our viewing experience over the past few years. This new phase of legislation has been justified for player safety. Million dollar investments should not be put in harm’s way. These rules have been especially beneficial for skill players like QBs and WRs who can be categorized as defenseless players. However these legislative bodies haven’t gone far enough. Here are a few rule changes that can be put into place to make sure people who catch a ball for a living are able to do it for years.
First off running is dangerous. How many times have we seen a running back cut and without contact go down with an obliterated knee. The Law of Momentum states that M (momentum)=Mass*Velocity Squared. Therefore the faster something moves its momentum exponentially increases. The increase in momentum also means a player can transfer more energy into another body. Basically, Speed equals pain. With all this in mind we should completely ban running. Players walking would be able to react faster, would be less susceptible to strain induced injuries, and there would be fewer big hits.
Our next rule concerns those all important high money players. Why risk a QB or WR getting hurt and essentially ending a franchises hope? Taking this into consideration all players with a contract value over 10 million dollars will play flag football. I know what you’re saying right now, why 10 million? We will implement this for the first year and if it’s still too dangerous we’ll include everybody. However, I would like everybody to keep an open mind and just try it for the first few years with just the skill players.
Football has been lacking an entertainment value recently, so this next rule change will hopefully boost that factor. The endzones’ playing surfaces will be converted to dance floors to better accommodate creative celebrations. Pulling from the most entertaining league, the NBA, there will also be a five second rule instituted for defensive players. This will create more opportunities for touchdowns and therefore more opportunities to see Nelson Cruz perform on the surface he was born to grace. This rule will of course not apply to college since dancing is forbidden for fear of incurring the wrath of Cthulhu.
Finally, we can really learn from the back yard football we used to play all the time. Roughing the passer has become a huge problem in our league. The solution is easy. All linebackers must count to 5 Mississippi’s before rushing the passer. This will cut down on QB injuries and will increase touchdowns thrown, a double win.
I know the amendments I have suggested aren’t perfect. For instance London Fletcher may count to 5 Mississippi’s faster than Lance Briggs. There is also a problem with flags, since a guy like Wes Welker’s flags are going to be harder to grab since he’s smaller. This becomes a huge disadvantage for players like Calvin Johnson. However, with time, I feel like players will come to love these rules, and our league will be better for it.